On with the winter solstice – not the end

As we are slowly ushered into the new era some are waiting for the end (December 21 last day on the Mayan calendar) – these days I suppose I may also be guilty of this with all the nihilism that has been going around like a virus through my system. Is there any hope for society and human beings? This is a very good question, one that can only be answered by stating that hope is a false sense of security, but it sure feels good sometimes to pretend that there is not only security in our lives/world, but also control.

Ahhh control.

If you are one who feels like you have control, think again, you have responsibility. Responsibility to act, to inform yourself, to do everything yourself. You are responsible! The world is not going to hold your hand while you are waiting to find “control.” Too bad it doesn’t work this way. Of course this has turned into more of an end of the year jaded rant in which I am writing as I somehow just sorted out that I can write blog entries on the go on my iPhone, sorry smart phone. Apple does not need anymore plugs!

This is a little all over the place, but what do you want when I have not written since August, or I guess what do I want. Who is actually asking the question? That is the real question. Consciousness, will humanity begin to embrace some consciousness evolution or just continue to grow through our technology and narcissism? Some seem to think we are going to be ushered into a golden age as we are, fucking obviously, in a dark age now. So what do you think? And before you answer that who is it that is thinking?

In closing here is a photo of a painting I am working on, really free expressionism here, no goal and staying with using gravity to ground the viewer as well as the paint. Bringing us to the ground, where we always dwell. I can go on and on….but this was supposed to be in closing.

20121219-192241.jpg

Advertisements

Testing out the 85

Since every once in a while we need to take some time out for ourselves and without the time to process or post photos, I have taken a little time today to do so. Also thanks to my brother-in-law I was able to borrow  his 85mm Nikon 1.8 which is a nice little prime I have used in the past. Here are a few shots I took a couple of weeks ago that I just posted on Flickr and will post here as well…Enjoy, and there is a ton of stuff to go through in the next while so look forward to some more macro, abstract, darkness and light painting coming your way in the near future!

The Suchness of Reality

'06
 

  I uploaded this painting a while ago and it just sits in the side bar in “drafts” cause I dont know why exactly I uploaded it so I thought I would use it first. This used to be my favorite painting (that I have painted) as it seems to convey a certain mood.

 

 I had moved to Kimberly B.C to do a practicum (2006) and was spending alot of time alone, writing and painting and just doing those kinds of things. I started to really witness the universal reality of sadness and the absolute connection with all around me. It was an interesting time in my life. I was overcome with intense feelings of sadness almost all the time for a period. It was a very transformational experience.

The whole thing of it is just the reality of existence, things fade in and out of existence and we are faced with life and death everywhere we look, it is only a matter of opening our hearts and our minds to what else is going on around us. We need only begin to move a little away from our egoic existence in order to begin to witness the world – and our own egos – in a different way. We are terrified as individuals to really embrace sadness, but sadness and emotional intensity does not have to be something to fear. As we look further intraspectively through contemplation,  meditation, and yoga (I also use art for meditative and reflective purposes) we the grip of the ego begins to loosen and provide a newfound freedom that we never thought was possible. I will quote the Heart Sutra here as it gives such a great description of this;

            O Shariputra, form is no other than emptiness,

            Emptiness no other than form;

            Form is precisely emptiness,

            Emptiness is precisely form.

            Sensation, perception, reaction, and consciousness are also like this.

            O Shariputra, all things are expressions of emptiness:

            Not born, not destroyed; not stained, not pure; neither waxing nor waning 

 

 

This is a great conversation between the Buddha and one of his students. I feel that the Sutra really speaks volumes to challenge what we think we know about everything around us. Another quote I did want to include and comment on is in regards to therapy (as a therapist). This quote is from Mark Epstein who is a Buddhist psychiatrist out of  New York:

 The traditional view of therapy as building up the self simply does not do justice to what we actually seek from the therapeutic process. We are looking for a way to feel more real, but we do not realize that to feel more real we have to push ourselves further into the unknown.

Such a great quote to give us a new perspective on things when we are looking at life and especially the internal verses the external reality. As we look outside of our “selves” and build our “selves” up more and more we begin distance from the consciousness that we are. To feel “more real” as Epstein says, one must begin to look at the structure of “self” itself, and deconstruct certain “fixations” and “illusions” through the process of what many others  call inquiry. As Maharshi states; “Self-inquiry is to focus the entire mind at its source. It is not, therefore, a case of one ‘I’ searching for another ‘I.’ 

 

So to start simply take up the contemplative practice of “who am I?” It is not just a thought “who am I?” It is a contemplation on “who am I?”  Not thinking about it, contemplating it. Similar to a Zen koan in which it is a question that may take the practitioner years to answer, or realize that there is no answer, the self-inquiry of “who am I?” is a long deconstructive process by which we can begin to know Self/consciousness. Enjoy…

 

(C) Kyler Evans, All Rights Reserved

A Simple Koan

I have been doing a lot of responses to what my unconscious mind seems to put down on a canvas or paper or whatever I am using at the time. This is just the simple process of expressive arts and using art as a path in itself. Anyway, the piece iself is oil pastel, and is called

 

Fluffy Bunnies: Theres Heaven, Theres Hell, then there is the Balance of NOthing that lies in-between. 

Fluffy Bunnies: Theres Heaven, Theres Hell, then there is the Balance of NOthing in-between

So that is the piece itself, here is the response to it, note I tend to have many images of faces turn up in almost everyone of my paintings. The unconscious is an interesting thing.

A Simple Koan:

 

Faces,

            Faces,

                        Faces with no face at all,

 

To whom to come;

            To whom to fall,

                        For they have no names at all,

 

The Faces…

                                       So many Faces,

                        Eyes seem to call,

 

“nothing”…

                        “nothing at all.”

 

For it is only in my mind,

            That there is such a grind,

                        To create such a scheme,

                                    Or,

                                                Is it all just a dream?

2006-2009 Kyler Evans, All rights reserved.

NOTE: Permission for the use of my images and Poetry is granted for personal websites and blogs (THAT MEANS NO ADDS AND NO SELLING OF ANY KIND) but must include a link back to this site and proper credit given to me for my work, Kyler Evans.

Link to be used…(https://arisingphoenix.wordpress.com/)

 

 

I am

I have a notebook that I leave in my truck so I can write on the go if I NEED TO or feel drawn to do so. It usually just sits in the truck, but it is in the house at the moment, so I thought I would share a few writings and poems. This was written in January of 2007, post egoic death. This experience to which I am talking about is not metaphorical, it was a felt sense of what was going on for me at the time. writing has helped me to make more sense of some of these experiences and integrate them into my everyday consciousness. I have also created many paintings to do a similar thing (will post as I find). But here is the poem;

 

I am

 

The sounds vibrate through me,

Although, I am not here,

Nor there

 

I choose my steps carefully,

As the universe is all that,

I am.

 

The path, the leaves,

The wind, this body, the sky,

All “me”

 

Vast, silencing, piercing energy,

Cutting through the mind,

Sanity is disturbed

 

There is no running or hiding from this,

No end, or beginning,

Infinite

 

The mind is not designed for this,

The eyes bear a heavy burden,

They see all

 

Hundreds of thousands of eyes,

That see and feel,

Itself.

 

2006-2009 Kyler Evans, All rights reserved.

NOTE: Permission for the use of my images is granted for personal websites and blogs (THAT MEANS NO ADDS AND NO SELLING OF ANY KIND) but must include a link back to this site and proper credit given to me for my work, Kyler Evans.

Link to be used…(https://arisingphoenix.wordpress.com/)