Abstract Painting with Light

Here are a few shots I took with my brother-in-law in the last while. I decided to throw up a few on flickr today so also thought I would throw up a few here as well. Check it out on flickr if you want to see the large versions. A lot of detail in some of them! Was a lot of fun and am looking forward to doing some more in the future with my little lights that I picked up…

Enjoy…

All Images Copyright Kyler Evans 2010

A Simple Koan

I have been doing a lot of responses to what my unconscious mind seems to put down on a canvas or paper or whatever I am using at the time. This is just the simple process of expressive arts and using art as a path in itself. Anyway, the piece iself is oil pastel, and is called

 

Fluffy Bunnies: Theres Heaven, Theres Hell, then there is the Balance of NOthing that lies in-between. 

Fluffy Bunnies: Theres Heaven, Theres Hell, then there is the Balance of NOthing in-between

So that is the piece itself, here is the response to it, note I tend to have many images of faces turn up in almost everyone of my paintings. The unconscious is an interesting thing.

A Simple Koan:

 

Faces,

            Faces,

                        Faces with no face at all,

 

To whom to come;

            To whom to fall,

                        For they have no names at all,

 

The Faces…

                                       So many Faces,

                        Eyes seem to call,

 

“nothing”…

                        “nothing at all.”

 

For it is only in my mind,

            That there is such a grind,

                        To create such a scheme,

                                    Or,

                                                Is it all just a dream?

2006-2009 Kyler Evans, All rights reserved.

NOTE: Permission for the use of my images and Poetry is granted for personal websites and blogs (THAT MEANS NO ADDS AND NO SELLING OF ANY KIND) but must include a link back to this site and proper credit given to me for my work, Kyler Evans.

Link to be used…(https://arisingphoenix.wordpress.com/)

 

 

In Progress

In progress…

 Peering through the glass door,

                One just never knows,

                                What the depths will bring you,

                                                Or if the hole will close.

Looking at the earth,

                It breaks my heart in half,

                                Yet, I still don’t know,

                                                If there is a true path.

Trapped behind a curtain,

                I sat by idle and cried,

                                No freedom or respect their,

                                                And no matter what I lied.

It all just seems so crazy,

                So fucked up and surreal,

                                What I had to do for survival,

                                                Begrudgingly… start to feel.

The really big issue was that, I never got to heal,

from all of the suffering, pain and utter shame,

being on top of the world ,

                                then wanting to blow myself away.

The rollercoaster up and down,

                Made my mind twist and turn round and round,

In a ridiculous circle,

                                (Have you seen that internet commercial?)

                                                                The wild comments and allegations,

But I worked there too and,

And even then, had my own reservations,

But I wanted to help,

The suffering addicts,

                To find the life,

                                                I thought I had,

Until I did some reading,

                                Which made me feel sort of sad.

I somehow feel guilty,

                But know if was not my fault,

                                And yet that does not seem to,

                                                Jive with the all the thoughts, in my unconscious vault.

I never wronged,

                I loved and cared,

                                For others whom my empathy,

                                                Was completely shared.

See,

That is just the problem,

                The issue that I have,

                                I just feel things so deeply,

                                                Which sometimes makes me very sad,

It comes and goes,

                Mind ravaged with madness,

It feels so numb only, fro – Zen

The pathless path,

I was once on,

                Or so it feels,

                                On my brand new, Road to ashes.

Cause here’s the thing,

                Here’s the catch,

                                I know in my heart,

In the bottom of my soul,

                I must die again,

                                Like ashes in my pipe bowl.

I am afraid,

I am unsure,

                                                It makes no sense,

                                                                                                And is quite fucking obscure.

This psychedelic trauma,

                And the rest of the Trip,

And it feels like an iceberg,

                This is only the tip.

Sure I had some issues,

                Who the fuck does not? 

Write it on the tissues,

Used to untie my minds knot,

                Of which all,

Was the credit that you took,

                                Did you write my thesis too?

Did you write my fuckin book?

                                These words are only,

                A representation of how I feel,

I wish you could see,

                How it is for me sometimes to deal.

 I cannot blame,

                I cannot point the finger,

But the struggle I have,

                                                Is that it still lingers,

Within my vast,

                Psyche in fact,

                                But I still have trouble,

                                                Knowing how to act,

In many situations,

                What the hell is that supposed to mean,

                                                SITUATIONS.

I guess that’s the thing,

                When we are all really asleep,

                                And unaware of the fact,

                                                That most of us are just a bunch of fuckin sheep.

I have a real problem,

                With being a sheep myself,

                                and I know that most of time,

it is very bad, indeed, for my mental health.

For no one likes a person,

                who comes off as confident,

                                and Ill tell you sometimes,

                                                it is hard to pay the rent.

In this world,

                This place that we have built,

                                9-5, 44 hours a week,

                                                While our being just continues to wilt.

A fuckin madman,

                I must be,

                                To make the any of the claims,

                                                That I be,

 Whatever.

 That’s just the Alberta in me,

                The redneck, yes indeed,

That can’t see all as equal,

                Or that people that are in need,

Of a community that gives,

                Not tears us all apart,

                                A community of love,

                                                That we all take in part,

Some responsibility and some real reflections,

                And a lesson to be learned in freedom,

                                A thought that when we look at him,

                                                Not everyone wants to be him.

Or him, or her,

                In your fuckin little cult,

                                Wake the fuck up, and realize,

                                                The abuse that you have dealt.

This is the voice,

                The voice of just,

A scared little boy

                                A child who loved, and cried, and felt fear,

And at times could also be very coy…

2006-2009 Kyler Evans, All rights reserved.

NOTE: Permission for the use of my images is granted for personal websites and blogs (THAT MEANS NO ADDS AND NO SELLING OF ANY KIND) but must include a link back to this site and proper credit given to me for my work, Kyler Evans.

Link to be used…(https://arisingphoenix.wordpress.com/)

Breaks in Reality

After looking at some of my writing I am thinking I will try and add one piece a day, or maybe more. This piece gives a good sense of the experience of no-self and the fear and madness that can ensue when one cannot slow down the mind. Slowing down the mind has been a real struggle for me since I began this journey and is becoming a key to my own sanity really. The mind acts as the self trying to grasp onto something to come back into existence, but it is only a construct of who we think that we are. We are all in fact just one; one entity that continues through life not recognizing the freedom in oneness, wholeness. It is a beautiful thing to access this state and other states of reality that we do not see regularly. This can be done through many different forms of meditation as well as many other avenues, but can take years. As Alex Grey puts it, “These or other related methods may trigger experiences that take the aspirant from a mundane perception of reality, wherein objects seem separate and composed of only material properties, to a view of divine unity with boundless depth of dimension and meaning.” (The Mission of Art).

So next time you experience reality in a new or different way, open your heart, not your mind, and see where the universe leads you. Hopefully you can go back home! 

 

 

 

Breaks

 

The self has died

Only to give way to a vast energy which can not be described accurately

It penetrates all layers

Cutting into nowhere and everywhere

Numb body

Dull vision

Racing mind

Frantic energy

            Unable to come back to the body

            Intensity comes through all areas of the vehicle

            Gone, gone, beyond gone

            This new dimension in which there is no release

Loud

Hurting ears

Penetrating essence

Crunching leaves

            Paranoia sets in and I can not handle it

            Stepping over anything that will break silence

            Fear of all that may be

            I can not hide from the essence of this experience

Anger

Insanity

Loss of control

Suicidal

            I am overcome with the guilty pleasure

            I want to get revenge and leave this body

            Release this nothing into nothingness

            Where it fucking belongs!

Crazy

Nuts

Psychotic

Rage

            It can no longer be done

            There is no solace from the madness

            No ground to stand on

            Only vast luminous emptiness

Surrender

Calm

Beauty

Sadness

            Stillness

                        Love

 

2006-2009 Kyler Evans, All rights reserved.

NOTE: Permission for the use of my images is granted for personal websites and blogs (THAT MEANS NO ADDS AND NO SELLING OF ANY KIND) but must include a link back to this site and proper credit given to me for my work, Kyler Evans.

Link to be used…(https://arisingphoenix.wordpress.com/)

I am

I have a notebook that I leave in my truck so I can write on the go if I NEED TO or feel drawn to do so. It usually just sits in the truck, but it is in the house at the moment, so I thought I would share a few writings and poems. This was written in January of 2007, post egoic death. This experience to which I am talking about is not metaphorical, it was a felt sense of what was going on for me at the time. writing has helped me to make more sense of some of these experiences and integrate them into my everyday consciousness. I have also created many paintings to do a similar thing (will post as I find). But here is the poem;

 

I am

 

The sounds vibrate through me,

Although, I am not here,

Nor there

 

I choose my steps carefully,

As the universe is all that,

I am.

 

The path, the leaves,

The wind, this body, the sky,

All “me”

 

Vast, silencing, piercing energy,

Cutting through the mind,

Sanity is disturbed

 

There is no running or hiding from this,

No end, or beginning,

Infinite

 

The mind is not designed for this,

The eyes bear a heavy burden,

They see all

 

Hundreds of thousands of eyes,

That see and feel,

Itself.

 

2006-2009 Kyler Evans, All rights reserved.

NOTE: Permission for the use of my images is granted for personal websites and blogs (THAT MEANS NO ADDS AND NO SELLING OF ANY KIND) but must include a link back to this site and proper credit given to me for my work, Kyler Evans.

Link to be used…(https://arisingphoenix.wordpress.com/)