Breaks in Reality

After looking at some of my writing I am thinking I will try and add one piece a day, or maybe more. This piece gives a good sense of the experience of no-self and the fear and madness that can ensue when one cannot slow down the mind. Slowing down the mind has been a real struggle for me since I began this journey and is becoming a key to my own sanity really. The mind acts as the self trying to grasp onto something to come back into existence, but it is only a construct of who we think that we are. We are all in fact just one; one entity that continues through life not recognizing the freedom in oneness, wholeness. It is a beautiful thing to access this state and other states of reality that we do not see regularly. This can be done through many different forms of meditation as well as many other avenues, but can take years. As Alex Grey puts it, “These or other related methods may trigger experiences that take the aspirant from a mundane perception of reality, wherein objects seem separate and composed of only material properties, to a view of divine unity with boundless depth of dimension and meaning.” (The Mission of Art).

So next time you experience reality in a new or different way, open your heart, not your mind, and see where the universe leads you. Hopefully you can go back home! 

 

 

 

Breaks

 

The self has died

Only to give way to a vast energy which can not be described accurately

It penetrates all layers

Cutting into nowhere and everywhere

Numb body

Dull vision

Racing mind

Frantic energy

            Unable to come back to the body

            Intensity comes through all areas of the vehicle

            Gone, gone, beyond gone

            This new dimension in which there is no release

Loud

Hurting ears

Penetrating essence

Crunching leaves

            Paranoia sets in and I can not handle it

            Stepping over anything that will break silence

            Fear of all that may be

            I can not hide from the essence of this experience

Anger

Insanity

Loss of control

Suicidal

            I am overcome with the guilty pleasure

            I want to get revenge and leave this body

            Release this nothing into nothingness

            Where it fucking belongs!

Crazy

Nuts

Psychotic

Rage

            It can no longer be done

            There is no solace from the madness

            No ground to stand on

            Only vast luminous emptiness

Surrender

Calm

Beauty

Sadness

            Stillness

                        Love

 

2006-2009 Kyler Evans, All rights reserved.

NOTE: Permission for the use of my images is granted for personal websites and blogs (THAT MEANS NO ADDS AND NO SELLING OF ANY KIND) but must include a link back to this site and proper credit given to me for my work, Kyler Evans.

Link to be used…(https://arisingphoenix.wordpress.com/)

Whoop Up Hill

Unbalanced lighting

What a beautiful night last night, so open and free. The warmth was also a nice change from the -20 that it has been lately. Getting out of the truck at the top of the hill, while walking to the destination it was pointed out that the lights were flickering, and they were. It was wild to see the energy of the lights moving like a pulsating beast. I cant remember seeing the pulsing that clearly for a long time, amazing. It is very easy to take joy in the little things and sit back in awe; but just as easy to forget how mind blowing and amazing this world really is. The layers of truth, reality, and consciousness. And two of us are just out on the top of the bridge taking it all in, the sounds, the lights, the patterns, simplistic, multilayered, intense. Unfortunately I was the only one with a functioning camera (forgotten batteries) so we were only there for a short while. Here are a couple of the shots, or I guess a few. After using a nice carbon fibre tripod, I am even more unhappy with my run of the mill tripod, such is the nature of grapsing and craving of the mind. One day, but no use to pine.

All in all, I will be going back to shoot sometime this week…

 Here is the HDR

Hdr

 

And here is the ambulence that ripped up the hill, I didnt get the shot I wanted to cause I was trying to set up another shot at the time and am generally very slow moving when it comes to much of anything. Hope you enjoy.

Rushing Ambulence

 Check them out in Flickr if you want full size..

 

2006-2009 Kyler Evans, All rights reserved.

NOTE: Permission for the use of my images is granted for personal websites and blogs (THAT MEANS NO ADDS AND NO SELLING OF ANY KIND) but must include a link back to this site and proper credit given to me for my work, Kyler Evans.

Link to be used…(https://arisingphoenix.wordpress.com/)

I am

I have a notebook that I leave in my truck so I can write on the go if I NEED TO or feel drawn to do so. It usually just sits in the truck, but it is in the house at the moment, so I thought I would share a few writings and poems. This was written in January of 2007, post egoic death. This experience to which I am talking about is not metaphorical, it was a felt sense of what was going on for me at the time. writing has helped me to make more sense of some of these experiences and integrate them into my everyday consciousness. I have also created many paintings to do a similar thing (will post as I find). But here is the poem;

 

I am

 

The sounds vibrate through me,

Although, I am not here,

Nor there

 

I choose my steps carefully,

As the universe is all that,

I am.

 

The path, the leaves,

The wind, this body, the sky,

All “me”

 

Vast, silencing, piercing energy,

Cutting through the mind,

Sanity is disturbed

 

There is no running or hiding from this,

No end, or beginning,

Infinite

 

The mind is not designed for this,

The eyes bear a heavy burden,

They see all

 

Hundreds of thousands of eyes,

That see and feel,

Itself.

 

2006-2009 Kyler Evans, All rights reserved.

NOTE: Permission for the use of my images is granted for personal websites and blogs (THAT MEANS NO ADDS AND NO SELLING OF ANY KIND) but must include a link back to this site and proper credit given to me for my work, Kyler Evans.

Link to be used…(https://arisingphoenix.wordpress.com/)

 

 

A Journey Begins with a Small Step

Life is a crazy place to be sometimes, and this is why I am setting this blog up. I still don’t really get the whole “blog,” “website,” and whatever else things. But, nevertheless, I have somehow amassed a website (www.arisingphoenix.ca) which is still under construction due to my amazing webpage building abilities, but can be used with the back button from the home page (sorry that’s what I got for now). I could not really decide whether the website would be personal or more business focused. So here is the more personal part of what I am putting out on the web. This blog will mostly encompass; creativity, poetry, visual art, photography, psychology, Spirituality*, philosophy, and whatever else you can call whatever it is that I am always writing, thinking, living, breathing, and sometimes avoiding cause it is a little much. You have to feel some empathy (not sympathy, this is an important distinction in life and all should understand that sympathy is actually somewhat harmful. If you don’t know Google it…) for my wife; she has to live with me and is the one who suggested this blog to communicate my wannabe artesianism.

And that is that for the time being. I will leave you with a quote; “the spiritual path is not fun–better not being it. if you must begin, then go all the way, because if you begin and quit, the unfinished business you have left behind begins to haunt you all the time” (Chogyam Trungpa, The Myth of Freedom)

*I once understood the meaning of this word, but now I don’t really know what it means, it is too household a name to have much meaning to me now, but I will suppose that maybe it is not that way for all.